Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret

Sorry, I've been absent from the world and from those who wish to keep in touch with me. I've decided to gift you an entry about some of the irksome matters contributing to my momentary relapse into adolescence. I know I know, grow up and get over your problems, Elise. I don't even know what's wrong with me, but maybe creating this compilation will provide enough cathartic insight necessary to identify my problems. That's the plan, anyhow.

1. Have I really lost the ability to pick out compatible suitors and generate chemistry with them?

I've gone on outings with people long enough to discover that I just don't know how to develop feelings for them, no matter how great the individuals can be described on paper. I've often declared my asexuality when confronted with these issues, but we all know that's not emotionally possible when quotes like the following still make me smile and/or tear:

We laugh like idiots. We hold hands when we're out for walks. We send stupid e-mails to each other during the day. We snuggle close at night. We indulge in the simple things that make us happy and let us forget, for just a while, that there are things that make us sad. - Peanutsmom

So my question, How do relationship start, again? I'm tired of of all the excuses I use to defend my single-hood: no time, too focused on my career, not ready to handle emotions again. Really, I think my main problem is just that I don't know how to spark whatever is dead inside me.

2. It's a meat market out there!

Since when did hanging out and getting to know someone automatically mean you were interested in them? I understand I sit on the naive side of the fence when it comes to interpreting someone's motives, but I don't feel like I've ever had to deal with worrying how my actions were being misinterpreted until now. Maybe it's the possibility that boys you grow up with since elementary school are more like your brothers who would consider courting you an act of incest. I can't really use my college experience to back up my claim that boys didn't used to be so carnivorous, as everyone I encountered was well aware that I was in a relationship. Did I miss out on an important lesson on how to behave so that boys don't immediately get ideas, or is my approach just completely wrong; should I also constantly be on the prowl?

To avoid the cliche revelation that boys are nothing but trouble, I'm just going to say that I probably need to hang out with people more often to understand the subtleties of social interaction.