Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret

Sorry, I've been absent from the world and from those who wish to keep in touch with me. I've decided to gift you an entry about some of the irksome matters contributing to my momentary relapse into adolescence. I know I know, grow up and get over your problems, Elise. I don't even know what's wrong with me, but maybe creating this compilation will provide enough cathartic insight necessary to identify my problems. That's the plan, anyhow.

1. Have I really lost the ability to pick out compatible suitors and generate chemistry with them?

I've gone on outings with people long enough to discover that I just don't know how to develop feelings for them, no matter how great the individuals can be described on paper. I've often declared my asexuality when confronted with these issues, but we all know that's not emotionally possible when quotes like the following still make me smile and/or tear:

We laugh like idiots. We hold hands when we're out for walks. We send stupid e-mails to each other during the day. We snuggle close at night. We indulge in the simple things that make us happy and let us forget, for just a while, that there are things that make us sad. - Peanutsmom

So my question, How do relationship start, again? I'm tired of of all the excuses I use to defend my single-hood: no time, too focused on my career, not ready to handle emotions again. Really, I think my main problem is just that I don't know how to spark whatever is dead inside me.

2. It's a meat market out there!

Since when did hanging out and getting to know someone automatically mean you were interested in them? I understand I sit on the naive side of the fence when it comes to interpreting someone's motives, but I don't feel like I've ever had to deal with worrying how my actions were being misinterpreted until now. Maybe it's the possibility that boys you grow up with since elementary school are more like your brothers who would consider courting you an act of incest. I can't really use my college experience to back up my claim that boys didn't used to be so carnivorous, as everyone I encountered was well aware that I was in a relationship. Did I miss out on an important lesson on how to behave so that boys don't immediately get ideas, or is my approach just completely wrong; should I also constantly be on the prowl?

To avoid the cliche revelation that boys are nothing but trouble, I'm just going to say that I probably need to hang out with people more often to understand the subtleties of social interaction.

So Emo

Kay, so really, I'm about as screwed up as any other pimply adolescent, minus the adolescence (I'm fast approaching my mid-20s). I have mounds of material to fill this blog with, but let's be honest here. No one actually wants to read about the emotional woes I get myself into, no matter how sarcastic a tone I spin them with. Plus, my writing ability has severely degenerated to some unintelligible state, and I often find myself deleting whole entries in a fit of frustration because I no longer possess the ability to entertainingly (and eloquently) express simple thoughts such as, "My boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up, and I'm now an emotional wreck." So what to do? Hmm.

1) FOOD BLOG - food is the cureall for all my problems from menstrual cramps to writer's block .
2) STORY BLOG - stories from my (relatively normal)childhood. Only interesting because being the silliest shy kid alive pretty much paves the way for massive confusion.

That actually sums me up pretty well. I'm full of entertaining anecdotes and food cravings, so with camera in hand and a mighty pen(keyboard?), my return shall satisfy all your food-porn and social commentary needs. Be prepared!

我喜歡喝茶

烏龍茶(Oolong Tea)

American Lipton teabags SUCK. This shouldn't be news for a Chinese-American kid like myself, but living in San Diego doesn't exactly give me easy access to the Asian things I grew up with. My father's daily tea brewing for example, is something I have only recently begun to miss.

My extremely hydrophilic self has been guzzling down Lipton tea ever since starting work, and I havent really noticed its subpar tea flavorings until tonight. There's this lady at work who brought in an assortment of TenRen teabags for her team. I tried the 普洱(Pu-erh) first, recalling my father's affinity for it at Dim Sum places for it's superior degreasing capabilities. Not really satisfied, I moved onto the 茉香綠茶(Jasmine Green Tea) which was pretty average; no emotive qualities about it. However, I got to the Oolong Tea, and suddenly everything came back to me. Memories of stealing my dad's tea that he prepared for himself immediately after coming home from work, being forced to drink tea when I was sick, trying to figure out the leaves to water ratio with my sister when we were craving daddy's tea, my parents' squabbles over seep time..and the list goes on.

Oolong tea might not be the best tasting tea nor the one with the most curative effects, but one thing is certain--it's my dad's daily tea of choice, and that makes it perfect for me. All those sessions I've sat through with my dad, family friends, and uncles about its ceremony, health benefits, and how Japanese green tea has NOTHING on Chinese/Taiwanese tea..it's all coming back to me.

Needless to say, I refuse to go back to Lipton. Ugh!